I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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