Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
