whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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