youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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