Moan for me like Helen Keller
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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