Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
