Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
