Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
