What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
two words...techno handjob
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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