Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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