I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
