u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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