Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
