yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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