His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
