Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
