Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
