you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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