You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
