Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
