every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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