Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Randomize
