apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
