he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
