So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
