Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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