awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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