Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
