Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
