addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
