shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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