That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
