I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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