If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
