whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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