I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
