Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The power of my boobs compel you
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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