Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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