I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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