I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
