well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
