Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
