He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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