Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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