If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
