totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
