You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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