I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
His hands were made for my vagina.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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