In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
