Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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