Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
