I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
